I Shall Not Want
Another 2 month gap in the blog — sigh…. The best-laid schemes….
For the past few days, I’ve had a passage from the 23rd Psalm in my head: “I shall not want,” or as I have heard it elsewhere: “I shall lack nothing.” I assume it’s in my head because this semester I start my job search and my dissertation completion grant — eek! So it’s reassuring, during this time of radical uncertainty about my life, to be reminded of the LORD as my shepherd and provider. I shall lack nothing, because God leads me beside still waters and into green pastures. Even should death loom over me, I need not fear, for God is my protector and my comforter.
One of the corollaries to this verse has been a re-examination of what it means to know God as my shepherd. God does not merely provide and protect, but when I wander off, God comes after me and brings me home. This idea speaks to my own fear that I will fail to hear God’s voice regarding what I should do, where I should apply, which jobs to consider, etc. (”Fail to hear” naturally includes “not pay attention to because something else seems more interesting.”) I have to admit that my life so far has been sort of a zigzag and that I’m never quite sure if the zigzag was God’s route or my own; so I’m nervous about heading off in the wrong direction again. But the Psalm reminds me that the Shepherd will come for me to bring me back to safety and better pasture.
I will trust in this promise; I certainly don’t have the wisdom to make these choices on my own!
